The Girl Code: (not quite) 100% Good Advice

Diane Farr wrote a book in 2001, several years before she met and married the Giant Korean (see her book Kissing Outside the Lines for that story), which was her effort to write down the secrets of female society in one place. Everything from common terms to etiquette guidelines.

(yes, the book has the s-e-x word on it. don't freak out.)

My Italian Mama purchased this book after reading Diane Farr's other work mentioned above. We had laughed so hard at the first one that she figured we couldn't go wrong with another book by the same author.

This book is in an entirely different style. While funny, it's almost like a dictionary. A term is in bold at the top of a page, followed by it's definition. Following this are the terms, conditions, and qualifiers under which this is applicable or appropriate. Finally, it's used in an example sentence to show it's uses: as an excuse, a noun, a cry for attention, etc. I know, I know, this is a terrible description that doesn't really explain anything. You should just read it yourself. At least if you're a girl. Boys... you don't want to know. More importantly, though, is that we don't want you to know. Ignorance is bliss for you and advantageous for us.

The reason I can recommend this book is not because I thought it was perfect. She has a very different set of morals that I do. I am not going to encourage (read: strongly discourage) several of the practices mentioned in her book. The reason I can recommend this book is that it is mostly good advice.

She and I don't see eye to eye. I would dissuade a young woman from a one-night stand on moral grounds. She discourages it on different grounds. "You know the guilt that accompanies excessive drinking?," she writes, "Multiply it times ten, and now you know what to expect the day after a one-night stand. P.S. This hangover doesn't go away as fast as the drinking kind." In laying ground rules for this kind of encounter, a recurrent theme is: it's not worth it. You won't get a meaningful relationship out of it. It isn't going to fulfill you. If you were friends, well, honey, you can kiss that goodbye. If he's just around for the sex, why would you want him around anyway?

Premarital sex is a non-issue for her. Of course you'll sleep with people. Funny to think that so much of what she says about a one-nighter could be applied to a six-monther. Or any sort of not-for-the-rest-of-your-lifer. Why buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free?

Explicitly sexual issues aside, her book is solid. It covers everything from how to decide if a guy is a keeper (The Tests: Waitress Test, Car Door Test, Family Test) to how to let go of one who's not (He's Out of The Car, On the Curb, you have Raw Cookie Dough Time). She covers the rules of a girls' night out (Never Leave Your Wingman) and the importance of being loyal to your girlfriends above all else (Don't Shop In Other People's Closets).

I'll leave you with this final bit of wisdom: "Men are like buses... you sit at the stop long enough and another one comes along - but girlfriends are like Maseratis: few and far between."