A Lesson in Forgiveness

My former boss called me a stubborn ass as I lay on the floor, struggling to breathe. I wheezed out a laugh. If he only knew the half of it.

I am stubborn beyond reason. Faced with arguments and facts to the contrary, I charge fearlessly into whatever situation, holding firmly to the belief that I know best.

I always thought of myself as a very forgiving person. I don't hold grudges. Or, rather, I thought I didn't.

I came to the realization that the reason that I forgive so easily is that I do not usually blame others for my pain, but I blame myself. It is not their fault, it's mine. I trusted them too soon or too much. I depended on them unfairly. Etc. It is easy for me to forgive them because, in my mind, there is nothing to forgive them for.

But when a situation comes up that I wholly and firmly believe was the other person's fault... well, it takes a lot for me to forgive them.

I am a stubborn ass. 

It takes a tragedy to make me realize how blessed I am.

It makes me realize that the grudge I was holding - the anger I was feeling - was not as important as I had led myself to believe.

Love and friendship... well, they're more important. But this still didn't give me the answer I needed. The answer to how I can forgive. How do you un-break your heart?

I learned this lesson from a very wise woman:

Your heart cannot forgive.
That's why He gave you His.

When the heart beating in you is Christ's, you can forgive in a heartbeat.

When I came down the stairs this morning to a newspaper with the pictures of twenty sweet children, smiling and full of joy, the anger and pride gave way to tears. There are twenty-six families who will be heart-broken this Christmas. Who will not be able to tell someone how much they are loved.

And the fact that I am still able to do so is something that I cannot ignore. It is a fact that demands attention. And action. 

Do not let pride, anger, and resentment hold you back from those whom God has given to you to be loved.