Y'all know that I couldn't possibly travel across the country, live on a college campus for four days, and travel back home without some interesting &gross occurrences occurring. And I know that y'all are just dying to hear all about it. So here it goes.
(If you follow me on twitter, you'll have heard about most of these things. I live-tweeted my trip. Here, however, I am not constrained by a 150 character limit. Bahaha.)
Awkward introductions
I arrived at about dinner time on Thursday. I didn't have too much trouble adjusting to the time zone difference because I was pretty wiped out from the trip. Once we got on campus, my brother brought me to his dorm. This was weird. Really weird.
Having attended a college where inter-visitation is strictly prohibited (except in the case of medical emergencies), the whole concept of walking into a guys' dorm was just freaky. I tried to remain inconspicuous, but I started giggling so uncontrollably that I caught the attention of every.single.person. in the hallway.
I was so flustered that when my brother introduced me to one of his residents, I extended my hand and said, "I'm a girl. Nice to meet you."
*facepalm*
Freaking out about stupid stuff
Friday night we went to Walmart. Why? I still don't know. Apparently, it's fun. They do it all the time there. Whatever. When in Rome, right?
So I walked to Walmart. Part of said walk is walking over the freeway on an old set of train tracks.
This turned out to be a bit of a problem for me. 1) I'm scared of fast cars. 2) I'm terrified of heights. Walking on a tall thing above lots and lots of fast cars zooming by was just freaky. Thankfully, I had a brother to whom I could cling. I did a lot of whimpering, nonetheless.
ps - so we walked to Walmart, stood in the liquor aisle for 10 minutes, didn't buy anything, and then walked back. I still don't know why.
Unintended physical consequences
I had encountered some second-hand smoke early on Friday. The stress of the walking over the freeway combined with my already-swollen, blood-blister-coated throat caused me to have a doozy of an asthma attack on Friday night.
I had set out with the intention of finding hot tea and/or booze. I got a walk in the rain and an asthma attack instead.
Klutz attack
When I got back to the apartment where I was staying late Friday night/very early Saturday morning, I was exhausted. The whole wheezy thing + phobia thing doesn't equal a wonderful aid to your energy. I got ready for bed, put my sleeping bag on the couch, and then lay down on top of it. I couldn't bring myself to get back up and get under the sleeping bag.
By a series of pulling and twisting motions, I tried to wiggle myself under it. All I actually managed to do was lift myself up and slide myself off of the couch and on to the floor.
Obsessing over fashion
In my desperate quest for coffee on Saturday morning, I got sopping wet. Pants, hoodie, shirt underneath, etc. I didn't particularly care, but my brother offered to throw my clothes in the dryer and I could wear some of his in the meantime. Pictured below is the outfit he chose for me.
As you can see, it wasn't exactly fashionable. His soccer shorts reached well past my knees, and he gave me one of his dress sweaters. Then he had the audacity to suggest I wear it to lunch. As it was, I had to leave the building, lugging big brown boots on since it was still raining and those were the only shoes I had with me at the moment. It wasn't an attractive look.
Trying to die via normal, every day occurances
So, I mentioned those blood blisters? Those are important here.
Saturday night was the "Black Light Dance." This concept sorta freaked me out in itself. I'm not really a black light dance sort of person. I like my steps. And my propriety. Wiggling is not my thing. In the interest of "expanding my horizons" or "being a good sport," I went in with a tentative, but open mind.
We walked in the doors and you could feel the concussion of the bass in your chest. Like your heart and sternum were smacking into each other. Uncomfortable. But I didn't let it phase me that quickly. I figured if everyone else could handle such concussions, I could, too.
Well, I'm not normal.
After about 10 minutes, I started coughing uncontrollably. Lo and behold, there was blood everywhere. In my mouth, in my throat, in my lungs. Blood everywhere.
After inspecting my throat in a mirror, I discovered that all of those blood blisters that had been lining my esophagus had been systematically popped by the extreme volume of the subwoofer. I was choking on my own blood. Blargh.
Subwoofers are evil.
Weird encounters with nature
It was almost two in the morning. I was walking back from saying goodnight to my brother at his dorm. The apartments where I stayed are on the opposite side of campus, so I had a bit of a walk. I wasn't wearing shoes because it was raining and I needed my shoes to be dry for Mass, which was in nine hours. Since I didn't have any desire to schlep through the mud in my bare feet (not that I don't like mud, but I didn't want to get mud all over the apartment), I stayed on the sidewalk. In the course of this walk, I discovered that there are basically no direct sidewalk paths between one side of campus and the other. They all wind back and forth.
As I made my way across campus in the rather chilly rain, I pulled my hood up. I zoned out a bit, just blindly following the sidewalk (this is, perhaps, why I didn't take a very direct route - I just followed the sidewalk instead of paying terribly close attention), when I suddenly heard a large whooshing noise and felt something heavy land on my head.
I stopped. I was incredibly confused. What was happening here?
Then I felt claw-like things grab my hood and, consequently, a bit of my hair. Whatever it was was getting a good grip.
Then it tried to carry me away. I kid you not. It started pulling on my hood in any upward and backward direction.
It didn't actually get me off the ground because I'm far too heavy for that mysterious animal to carry. It did drag me backwards a bit.
Surprisingly, I didn't scream. Or yell. Or even meep. I felt my face wrinkle in confusion. Internally, I was freaking out, but I guess I was too tired to get that translated to the outside.
After about ten seconds, the mystery animal gave up and left without its snack. I suppose I should be grateful. I'm mostly bemused.
The mandatory HOW...??? moment
I fell in the mud during the early afternoon on Sunday. That story isn't very interesting or original, though. I just slipped and fell. What happened later was pretty interesting, though.
I was waiting outside the basilica for my brother.
It was the magic, golden hour of sunset. My brother was singing for Mass, even though we had already attended Mass in the morning. He was singing a special piece because the choir needed a bass and he is a very bassy bass.
I was perched on the little brick wall that surrounds the front portico of the basilica. I was completely mesmerized by the sunset. And those blossoms. It was so beautiful it hurt.
My arms were hugging my knees to my chest. I was incredibly sleepy. I hadn't slept well the night before and it was so quiet and peaceful sitting there alone.
I put my head down on my knees.
The next thing I remember is lying face down in the pine needles. Some guy, who I didn't know, was standing over me, nudging me with his foot. I looked up at him and he asked, "Did you really just fall off that wall?"
I remember smiling in a rather bemused fashion. "Probably. We haven't met, but that would be a normal thing for me to do."
He gave me a hand up and I found my brother.
"Oh, that was you who fell off the wall? Figures."
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