Right

Ever wonder about something that's just huge and seemingly unsolvable? To muddle through it, all of the problematic aspects and promising parts, and get some sort of idea of the correct answer?

With math, you know there's one right answer (possibly with a number of correct expressions). With people, there often is not one right answer. You can't just slap down a solution that contains all of the variables perfectly. Sure, you can get probabilities. The minute details change things. And you can't perfectly account for the minute details without perfectly knowing the persons involved.

This is what makes human relationships so difficult, but so wonderful. It's because you can't predict them. You find friends in unexpected places. You also find that there aren't friends in expected places. You hit it off with one, and are irritated by the other.

I don't like this phenomenon. Sure, it allows for some great surprises. But I don't like not having an answer. I like math and science because I can find an answer. I don't like psychology because it's so... vague.

My dislike directly corresponds to my need to control things, which is not a good thing. Why can't I just let it go? Let things be mysterious. Let people surprise me. It may even be pleasant.

Good things, they say, come to those who wait.

Implications?

The raspberry, nord, banana, and blueberry went on an adventure today. It was fairly uneventful, but something that happened at the bookstore has given me pause.

Since the three of us children were negligent, we didn't get Dad a Fathers' Day gift, so that was one of the three missions that we had to accomplish while out and about. We ended up at the bookstore and found ourselves in the "religious selections" section. I spotted a copy of St. Augustine's "City of God." However, it was a hardcover and I am a firm believer in the discount paperbacks give. The nord found a paperback copy. Without looking twice at it, we got in line, bought it, but never got out the door. Why not? Because I realized that above the title it said "Abridged Edition for Modern Readers." So, we scurried back to the aisle with the hardcover, exchanged them and left.

But it made me wonder. Why "abridged edition for the modern reader"? What does that mean. There are a few options, as I see it:

1) The unabridged edition has the kind of English that is practically gibberish to those of us who live in the 21st century.

2) People were smarter back then, so modern publishers have to dumb content down to accommodate us.

3) Modern people couldn't handle the hard truth about anything, so they smooth things over to appease us.

4) The average attention span has shortened over the years, leaving us incapable of getting through 400 pages, but we can handle 250.

If you can think of any other reasons, feel free to enlighten me :)

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

I have been very lucky in my life in respect to my friends. My mother quoted my second grade teacher (my last public school teacher) during my high school graduation. Miss Hovey said this about me, "She is everybody's friend." I've always made friends easily and I thrive off of interaction with them. If one looked up "extrovert" in the dictionary, my picture would be smiling up at you.

Unfortunately, when I was younger, I didn't have the discretion I now possess when picking my friends. I befriended people without thinking...without making a judgment about whether they and I could really be friends. Fortunately, I've learned to take a second look before throwing myself in head first. But I still have to consciously make the decision to do so. In public school, I had two friends who both believed that they should be my only friend. This, of course, was a problem. If only I had had the insight of someone slightly older, I would have recognized this in the pattern of behavior of both of them. Well, having one friend was never an option for me, so I spent every lunch break sitting in between them, trying to reason with them. I don't believe I ever got anywhere.

Now that I'm older, I can usually pick out the "kindred spirits" in the room. Sometimes I'm off in my first assessment of the situation, but I can usually amend it if need be. I don't believe I've ever completely estranged someone...but I guess if I had completely estranged someone, I wouldn't know it. Moving on...

Like I mentioned earlier, I have a really great group of friends. They are all kind, caring, sympathetic, and fun. I honestly don't know where I'd be without them. Probably lost in the woods of the world . . . I really truly would be. Here are some great quotes about one of the greatest gifts God has given us:

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
- Mark Twain

"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The friendship that can cease has never been real."
- Saint Jerome

"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods."
- Artistotle

"Friendship? Yes Please."
-Charles Dickens

Growing Up

There is a certain terror in growing up. I suppose that it lies in the change that comes wrapped in the same parcel. There are a lot things that I don't know about being an adult. Or, rather, things that I know about in theory, but have never experienced. The thought of doing something new and different has always scared me. Once I do that thing, I lose my fear of it. But making myself do it that first time is always challenging. Asking for job applications scared me...until I had done it a half dozen times. Same with turning in those applications. Now that I've done it 15 times, the knot in my stomach doesn't have such a formidable presence.

Then there are all the people around me who are growing up. Because I was homeschooled, my friends aren't all exactly my age. In fact, most of them are several years older than I am. Or younger. I have a friend who's in the Marine Corps and several friends who find "Duck, Duck, Goose" the height of entertainment (and I'm not referring to you college students). I girl I grew up with has three children and one on the way. People are graduating college, getting married, having children . . . and all of those things are so hopelessly grown up. Granted, I'm not to that stage yet. My high school graduation is on Saturday, freshman move-in day is August 20th . . . so I'm not that old. But the fact that a good percentage of my closest friends are is terrifying.

When did we grow up?

The Problem with Education

A recent conundrum got me thinking. A 16 year old gentleman that I know was assigned a history project. According to the directions, it was due by this coming up Friday. But the facilitator at his charter school isn't coming to pick up samples and things until June. He also hasn't gotten an answer as to whether this project counts for his grade. So he doesn't think he'll do it, since no one is giving him a straight answer. To put this situation in perspective, the project has to be one of three things: write a ten page paper, video yourself giving a 15 minute presentation, or do a canvas painting that incorporates elements of a certain historical event. So, clearly, this is no minor amount to do. If it doesn't need to be done, 99% of people wouldn't do it. Unless he gets instructions otherwise, he isn't going to do it. And it most certainly won't be done by Friday.

But I am one of those people who would do it. Why? Because I find satisfaction in learning things. I truly enjoy learning. In my opinion, this is due to the way I got my education. In the modern public school system, they manage to take every particle of enjoyment out of school. They make it about making the teacher happy. Or the school's ranking. Anything and everything except what it should be about. The student and the expansion of their mind should be the priority. And I believe that in many cases it is. But the teachers have never learned how to communicate that. If the aforesaid young man were to do the project, I am sure he would gain something from it. Something that he will have to get some other time, some other way -- or maybe not at all. You loose a lot of the value when the student doesn't appreciate the benefit he receives. I, thanks to my wonderful teacher (:D), haven't lost that appreciation. I recognize the good that comes out of doing the harder work, of going the extra mile. I could've scraped through school the easy way. I could have done basic coursework. But then I wouldn't have learned the wonders of physics or the charms of calculus.

This, I believe, is one of the most major problems facing the educational system. People don't do things to better themselves. They haven't been taught the effectiveness of self-motivation. I truly love learning. This particular gentleman doesn't seem to.

Tuesday...

It isn't quite raining. The ground has been wet all day...it isn't getting more wet or less wet, at least from my viewpoint. I suppose from the ground's point of view it is getting more wet. It is just getting wet at such a slow speed that it isn't accumulating into puddles before it evaporates again.

These days a perfect for thinking. The sunny outdoors aren't present and therefore not tempting me to "frolic." Not that I don't enjoy this weather...but it is especially nice when you can observe it from under a blanket on the couch.

It is also the perfect type of day for cleaning. One cannot procrastinate indefinitely. So we cleaned some of the house. I personally scrubbed two of the bathrooms into a state of shininess, vacuumed out the book baskets, and sterilized the kitchen. Mom did lots of dusting and laundry. We have been at it for hours, and we get to do more tomorrow. But since the forecast is predicting similar weather for the rest of the week, I'm sure I'll get it done. And enjoy it to. Because I have enjoyed today's cleaning spurt.

There is something satisfactory about making something that was dirty all clean and new again. I have been told that that feeling is an indicator of OCD, but I don't think so. Nor do I think that I should be put in a museum, as on of L.M. Montgomery's characters once stated. I think there is something that appeals to us in the fact that something can be "resurrected" as it were. Some inanimate object, through the effort of either other inanimate objects (such as a dishwasher) or animate ones (such as this lowly bagel) becomes new. A new start, almost. A mini spring time. How much more can we be made squeaky clean? We, in our fallen state, get "dirty", some more often than others and to varying degrees. But we have Someone more powerful than even the most potent cleaning agent available in the market to give us a new start. And He wants to give the new start to us. And many want that new start.

Maybe I'm being way too philosophical about scrubbing burnt food off of stoves. But maybe not. After all, we are made in the image and likeness of our Creator, are we not? Since we take satisfaction in making our own material things clean and marvelous again, could we not assume that He takes pleasure in making His possessions clean too?

Commander and Commanded

I'm not exactly sure how to do this...or how it's going to turn out...or what exactly it's going to be about in the end...but I'll do it anyway.

"I obey all lawful and reasonable commands...even when they come from you."

That's what I told him. He told me to stop thinking about my conundrum. So I did. But does the above statement convey a compliment, an insult, or is it just a passive thing?

Let's take a look at each one:

Compliment: The only way this could be construed as a compliment would be to follow a line of logic that goes something like this. The ability to give lawful and reasonable commands is a talent which must be either inborn or acquired. It is something that is difficult to do well and consistently. If the above statement is true, then yes, it is a compliment. The statement implies that he is one of the individuals who possess that happy talent.

Insult: This is probably most obviously insulting in nature. The fact that I bothered to tack on that last part implies that there are lawful and reasonable things that I wouldn't do for him. But that I would do for others. For instance, being nice.

Passive: It is always nice to interpret things in a passive manner. My statement could be viewed as quite innocuous and harmless. I was just saying something to say something. It is neither good nor bad. I obeyed his command. And that, as they say, is that.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Mercenary Me

Scholarship applications are terrible things. Especially when the essay question is, "Why do you want this scholarship?" Uh,...'cause I want the money? I mean, how original can one really get? Why do people want scholarships other than to get money? It doesn't benefit anyone but the recipient, as far as I can tell. But for me, things are doubly complicated. The real reasons I am applying would be kind of unsuitable for an essay. If I were to be completely honest about the whole thing, there is no way I would get the scholarship. The following is a sketch of what I would write if I were to be completely and utterly honest about my reasons.

"Why do I want this scholarship? There are two reasons which are the most prominent. The first is that Fr. Michael, the pastor of this parish wants me to. The second reason is not at all mercenary, believe it or not; it is simply that this scholarship will benefit my college of choice. I do not get any of the promised $1000. I am merely applying for the sake of Fr. Michael as a sign of my active participation in the life of the parish and for the benefit of TAC.

To Fr. Michael, my application for this scholarship is a vital thing. He believes that I should do it, no matter what. He is convinced that it is a necessary and right course of action for anyone who wishes to attend college. K of C is generous enough to provide this money - worthy candidates should apply for it.

But to TAC, the fact of a scholarship does not affect either the student or the parents. The total paid by both parties remains the same. Any money I receive from the scholarship fund will be paid to the school and will be taken off of the total financial aid I receive. I do not know if this is a common route or not, but since TAC tries very hard to provide enough aid so that all interested students may attend, I should do my part. The $1000 can be used towards someone else's aid or the building of the new campus church.

As you can see, then, this application is not merely mercenary. I do not benefit from this money. It will serve to further Father's confidence in me and increase the amount of available aid for other students at TAC."

But that, my readers, would be a very strange essay to enter. Totally and brutally honest, but undeniable strange. So, I shall write something else. What exactly, I don't know. But something.