Hey guys! I know it's been a while. I've been good. Busy, but it's all been good busy (well, for the most part... my life isn't perfect! haha). A new struggle has reared it's ugly head. This post is partially venting, but (hopefully also) partially informative for you.
Ever since my teenage years, I've had a severe allergy to all soy products. It's a cumulative allergy, so the more I'm exposed to it, the more sensitive I become to it and the reaction gets worse. For almost 10 years now, I've been conscientiously avoiding all soy products: soybeans, soy protein, soy lecithin, soy flour, soybean oil, etc. College was, by far, the worst food experience. The kitchen at TAC couldn't seem to manage to feed me consistently, so I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food. Because I was hungry much of the time, without a way to eat, whenever food was made for me, I ate excessively. Flipping between eating raw fruits & veggies and hardboiled eggs to eating piles of noodles was terrible for my metabolism. I was terrified of eating, too hungry to jump through the necessary hoops to ensure that I wouldn't be poisoned, felt sick about 99% of the time, angry that I couldn't eat like a normal person, and fed up that my supposedly safe meals poisoned me at least once per week. I cannot tell you how many evening seminar classes I spent with migraines, blurry vision, no sense of up and down, tingling fingers and toes, and a fever over 102 degrees Fahrenheit because my specially prepared meal wasn't actually specially prepared. (If you think I'm exaggerating, here's an example of the struggle: there was a day when I went back into the kitchen and asked if they had something I could eat. He asked what I was allergic to so I told him and his response was to serve me tofu. So yeah. Not confidence inspiring.)
By the time I graduated and moved home, I was a mess. I didn't know how to shop for regular meals, I didn't know how to eat regular meals. I just ate anything that was Bridget-safe (being very grateful for ingredient labels that 1) I could read myself and 2) actually listed every ingredient). If anyone else ate the last of some Bridget-safe food, I flipped out. I would cry, I would panic... I was a mess.
It's been almost four years since graduation. In the last year or two, I've figured out how to eat right. I've figured out what portions I need and have learned to recognize when I'm acting out of a fear of starvation (which is entirely unfounded. Mum and Trader Joe's are the best). I've learned to make some tasty meals and some delicious sweet treats so I don't feel deprived. But then in the last month or so, I've started feeling constantly sick again. Not any severe reactions, but enough to make me cranky and not-so-nice with people. I had a constant migraine, nausea, dizziness, the shakes... all soy reaction symptoms, but 1) they were minor so I didn't connect the dots and 2) I hadn't changed what I was eating.
When I started having neurological symptoms that were, basically, like paralysis (I could feel everything, but I could not move an inch. Mum has to spoon feed me dinner at one point), I decided that a little research was necessary. After a little time on the internet, scouring blogs written by frustrated moms with severely allergic children, I discovered a disheartening fact: many of the things I was eating were soy derivatives.
Did you know that when a label lists natural or artificial flavors, they're most likely soy derivatives? So unsalted butter? Yeah, that has soy-based flavoring. Many oils advertised as 100% olive oil or canola oil? Cut with soybean oil. Flour? Cut with soy products to keep it fresh. (except for most organic flours and King Arthur flour... for now). Any type of gum (guar, xantham, etc) or added vitamins? Derived from soy.
So I feel like I'm back to square one. And I'm terrified. I'm panicking and I'm desperate, and I'm afraid of being hungry constantly. I need to make everything from scratch... not only that, but I have to make it from organic ingredients. No more Starbucks (not nutritionally necessary, but it was a nice treat!), no more ice cream, no yogurt, no pre-cooked chicken, no crackers, nothing with added flavor. No restaurant food. Nothing with added vitamins. Nothing that contains anything else. It must be a pure and simple ingredient that is grown organically and untouched by a preservative process, even natural processes. I need to go back to the drawing board about how to shop and cook and feed myself. It's overwhelming. There. I said it. I'm overwhelmed. I'll get the hang of it, but in the meantime, I'm not coping well. So yeah.
But I said this was applicable to you in some way, and it is. There are a lot of people who find themselves sensitive to additives in food, which doctors dismiss as nonsense. There are a lot of people who are self-diagnosed gluten-intolerant, but they pass allergy tests just fine. To all of these people - if you're one of them or know someone who is - I would suggest considering the possibility that it's a soy or corn allergy. All of those additives - flavors, vitamins, MSG, nitrates - and normal flour - in cookies, breads, crackers, pasta, etc - are derived in one of three ways: from corn, from soy, or synthetically. There are only a handful of manufacturers of these preservative and enriching ingredients, but they all use all three processes and all food companies use the manufacturers interchangeably. The FDA doesn't require the derivatives to be labeled by allergen, so the companies don't worry about it. The reality is that people are consuming soy and corn - two of the most prevalent and growing allergies in the US - without knowing it. They're in meat (lunch meat, pre-cooked chicken, sausage, hot dogs, raw meat that is injected with anything except salt and water), starches, as well as boxed, canned, and pre-made food.
So if you're trying to isolate the thing that's making you feel sluggish, gives you a rash, upsets your stomach, makes you jittery, etc., I'd suggest trying to eliminate soy or corn from your diet, including these derivatives. There's no reason for you to give up all bread if you're really allergic to soy and you could purchase entirely organic and simple-ingredient foods (TJ's has one... yay!). If that's the real issue, there is corn and soy in other things you may be eating. If they don't bother you yet, they could bother you later... as I'm learning the hard way.
I sound like a conspiracy theorist/crazy food lady/crunchy hippy, but it's all acknowledged by food companies when you call them. If you ask what their sources are for natural flavors of thiamin mononitrate, they'll tell you it's either derived from soy, from corn, or synthetically and that if you have sensitivities to any of those things, you shouldn't eat any of their food. It's crazy. But it's the way it is. For now. Maybe when enough people have allergies, they'll pay attention.
In the meantime, pray for me. I need a little fortitude right now.
