Thank you and Goodnight

This summer has been quite nice. The first half was rough, I'll grant that. I whined and complained, but it did eventually end. The rest was filled with my wonderful family and fantastic friends. I am going to miss every single one of them every single day. Thanks for being there for me... I'll be back soon. I promise :)

TAC-land, here I come. You ready for me?

Blunt Observations

In the second Anne of Green Gables movie (possibly called "The Sequel"), Anne tells Mrs. Harris, mocking her rolled "r"s, "You can cr-r-riticize everyone we pass by." Mrs. Harris reprimands her for the uncharitable idea (even though Mrs. Harris is so very fond of criticizing). I would have fallen victim to Mrs. Harris' reprimands while walking up and down the shore today.

Beaches are full of unseemly sights. Not the glorious wonder of nature, but the people. Creations with more dignity inherent in their beings are exposed to more censure than the inanimate water, sand, and sun. People, would you please look at yourself in a mirror before you leave the house? Leaving aside the obvious problem of indecent exposure, which runs rampant among the young ladies, my problem was more with the bad choices for personal body types. Ten year old girls should not be wearing suits cut for more mature figures. Even more mature figures should not wear suits that were cut with young teenagers in mind. Men should not wear incredibly tight, short shorts, especially ones that sit well below their waistline. Nor should they scrunch their swim trunks up their legs to expose more to the sun. (To be fair to American men, it seems that it is mostly the European tourists who engage in the last faux pax)

These observations have nothing to do with the characters of the individuals, but merely their style choices. Consult an honest friend before going into public, please. I implore you.

Novel Logic

In response to a good friend bemoaning the absence of her siblings, I gloated that her loss was my win. She is going to miss her siblings and I get to enjoy their company. :) A young man weighed in on the discussion. He is in the same predicament as the young lady: his brother will also be attending school with me. He complained that I should bring my "winningness" elsewhere, but when I did, he still wasn't satisfied. Here's the actual text of the exchange, provided for your amusement.

Me: I WIN!!! (happy now?)
Alex: No.
Me: I tried. You are simply ungrateful ;)
Alex: No, you're ungrateful because you don't appreciate having my brother within a 5 mile radius of you
Me: Wait, what? That's why I win! If I didn't appreciate it, how could I win?
Alex: That's the point. You don't win
Me: I am so confused... I lose because I'm happy to see your brother?
Alex: No, I would be more happy to see him so therefore your comment about how I'm ungrateful is foolish and untrue therefore making you an ignoramous
Me: Ohhh, I see. I won't pretend to outdo brother love. This way we both lose

Interesting logic there. I lose by inferior affection, I guess :)

In response to this exchange, I posted a new status

Me: I lose. The End.
Alex: The END

and his status

Alex: All I do is win
Me: yes, sir =D
Alex: I think she's finally getting the concept

Ohhh, that boy. So much like his older brother...

3 more days

Do some laundry.

Pack some stuff.

Afternoon swim.

Episode of "Psyche."

PT appointment.

Random necessities.

Final goodbyes.

Junior year at TAC.

Wow.

LADIES ONLY!!!

I am absolutely serious. This story will shock and appall any male readers. So stop reading right now, if you value your peace of mind.

I was in physical therapy today and one of the other patients was stretching. The aide asked her to scoot down on the table a little bit. Then the aide starts talking:

"This reminds me of gyno (her slang for gynecology) appointments. You know when you have your feet in the stirrups and the guy asks you to slide closer. I always think it would be funny to beep, y'know, like a truck when it's backing up. It would break the ice. Because, as you know, it's rather personal and awkward. It would make everyone laugh."

My therapist disagreed: "If my doctor started beeping at me, I'd get up and leave."

I was just giggling at the whole thing. I could see the humor in it... but depending on my comfort level with the doctor, it could be rather strange. :)

Beep, beep, beep

G034

Sitting on a hard, plastic chair, I stared at the floor. Thoughts whirled through my head: Why am I here? Why did I do this to myself? Why are these people so slow?

"Now serving G zero two zero," droned a grating automated voice.

I shook my head in frustration. Fourteen more people before me. I had been in this spot twice before and, through a series of choices, had ended up here again. At the DMV. Waiting to take a permit test.

When I got my first permit, I was mentally and emotionally not ready to drive. I was scared silly and not motivated to learn. The second permit went better, but before I had a chance to take my license test, I had surgery on my right ankle. I also was away at school, where I have neither the means nor really the opportunity to drive.

Two hours after walking into the DMV, I had passed my test. Mum and I headed home, this time with me behind the wheel. Third time's the charm! :)

Picture Thoughts

For Good

Last night, after saying goodbyes to some very, very dear friends, this song wormed its way into my head.

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good"

While leaving for the coming school year is not as serious and somber as all of that (I do sincerely believe that I will be seeing these people many more times in this life), there are some things that ring true. They have been true friends, who, for better or worse, have had a hand in writing my life story by being in it. I love every single one of them so much and thank God for them every day...

KaBoom!

It's what happened to my room. Yesterday was the annual before school shopping trip. I have some new hangers, the necessities for personal hygiene, a book bag, and some school supplies. And they are all scattered about my room at present. I have discovered an unfortunate truth: things get much messier before they resolve to cleanliness. I need to figure out what to pack and what to put away. I'll be honest and own up to the fact that I have never been incredibly good at putting things away. Clean clothes tend to be placed in semi-neat stacks about the room, books don't get re-shelved, and I justify leaving various items out by the fact that they will be used again in the near future, especially during the summer months. My room stays in this sort of limbo state... I don't completely settle in but I don't live out of my boxes either. It is slightly painful to my neat-freak side, but I am, at present, too lazy to do anything about it. *sigh*...

Heads Up!

I changed the header and info part of this blog to more accurately reflect the state of its being... 10 days until it once again lapses into more or less deadness! :)

The Curse of the Females

As a member of the more needy half of humanity, I find myself in "need" of many things before the start of the school year. Last summer I stocked up on new cute shoes. My old ones had been literally worn thin and with a dress-code that requires dress shoes the majority of the day, I found my wardrobe lacking. Shiny department store bags in hand, I left the store very conscious of the nearly empty wallet. I easily justified it by the fact that I had not purchased new dress shoes in more than five years and hopefully would be able to go the same length of time before the same splurge was made.

Fast forward twelve months. I'm standing in the store with a shoe salesman, wearing the cutest, most comfortable shoes I have ever worn. Five minutes later, I have purchased them and am headed out the door. What happened to the five years between shopping trips? Ankle surgery happened. My incredibly cute shoes from last summer are slightly impractical. One pair has heels. The second pair has an ankle strap that cuts across both incisions. The third pair was worn so often that I killed the poor shoes in the course of the nine month school year. The pair that I have been wearing during this later part of the summer are ten dollar ballet flats from Target. While sufficient for two hour jaunts out of the house for Mass, these are quite inadequate for long days of walking around my beautiful, anything but flat campus. Now I'm quite ready to take on the world. I kid you not, these shoes are fantastic.

The other purchase was a bit of an impulse by. I have always loved Anne Taylor clothes. Comfortable, classy, and durable, they are delightful additions for any wardrobe. Such features do not come without a price, however. I could not help but pop into the store, just to peruse. But then, lo and behold, I saw it. It was pink. And on the sale rack. The $100 dress had been reduced to a mere $30. What girl in her right mind can turn that down?

So I am now in possession of a few less greenbacks, but got a good return on them. This girl is not above admitting that a new dress and new shoes put a smile on her face.

Tears

"I will not say, 'Do not weep,' for not all tears are an evil."

Gandalf says this to the hobbits at the end of Return of the King, as he is departing for the Grey Havens. It gives rise to the question, "In what cases could be tears be an evil?"

Epictetus holds an extreme view of emotions. He instructing his students not to be attached to anything that is outside of their control. When you kiss your wife, he says, remind yourself that she could be taken away at any time. This prevents the student from feeling any sadness. If you are not attached to anything, you won't wish to hold onto it when it is gone. You will never bury a loved one, for the horribly depressing reason that you don't really have any loved ones. His philosophy is one that attempts to separate all things which could potentially cause pain to the person.

This attempt to separate one's soul from one's body and everything around it is impossible. Being creatures whose souls and bodies are parts of a whole and not in conflict, we cannot hold the outside away from us. Pain and pleasure are experiences which are proper to the unitive whole of a human being. Epictetus is wrong, then. Tears cannot always be a bad thing.

But when are they a good thing? St. Augustine holds that crying at the death of someone dear to us is not always proper. He says that we should weep for our loved ones, if we believe death brought them to a place of pain and punishment. If, however, we believe them to be enjoying the bliss of heaven (or even the pains of purgatory), we should rejoice for them and their freedom from this sin-riddled world. Care must be taken, however, not to take the words of this saint to the extreme. St. Augustine himself was quite shaken when both his mother and his best friend died. Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus.

What I believe we must take from St. Augustine's teaching is that we must be moderate in our mourning, for it is not sympathy for the other, but it is, rather, selfish. We are weeping for ourselves. Friends are to be enjoyed and loved insofar as they lead us to God. In losing a good friend, we lose one of the gifts that God gave us to use to get to Him. We mourn for ourselves and our loss, and this is right and proper. We should not, however, be carried away by grief to a state of incapacitation. To be debilitated by our tears would be an evil; it would carry us away from God and towards ourselves, contrary to His will for us in providing the dear friend.

Death is an evil, yes. It entered the world as a consequence of sin. Corruption of our bodies is unnatural, and the departing of a fellow human being is a reminder of our fallen state. So you should cry, because it is sad and a real loss.

Not all tears are an evil.


Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei

Don Quixote

On page 850, I don't want to read Don Quixote anymore. Unlike most of the public, I greatly dislike Cervantes great work. It drags on and on. Don Quixote and Sancho Panza engaged in many crazy adventures, but they are all of a similar nature. He's tenacious, I'll give him that. But the book could have been six hundred pages shorter. Maybe I'm missing the point.

I felt this way at page 300 as well, but a little pep talk from Mr. Lehman before class got me 550 pages further. The additional problem is that now I feel guilty when I don't read it. I don't enjoy reading it and I don't enjoy not reading it.

Only 140 pages left... I can and will do this... it's just a matter of time :)