(Earlier today I read an article called "5 Facts about Raising a Child with Celiac Disease." Or something like that. This is my version. I figured I'm entitled since I actually have the food allergies and my perspective might be helpful.)
1. Eating is really boring.
Really, really boring. If I could get away with not eating, I would. I've actually tried it on occasion. It usually ends badly (since I'm hypoglycemic... and human), but it doesn't really stop me from trying. When something that should be pleasurable requires quite a bit of effort, it severely cuts down on the attractiveness of the activity.
(I realize that sentence could be interpreted as kind of scandalous out of context, so please don't quote it out of context. Unless you want to make people laugh and make me turn red. Which is your prerogative, I suppose.)
2. It doesn't mitigate fussiness.
We didn't discover my dairy intolerance until I was about ten and I didn't become soy intolerant until I was in my mid-teens. With these discoveries came a lot of adjustments to my diet. Unfortunately, ever since I was a wee one, I have been a famously picky eater. For some reason, though, many people assume that since I am so limited in menu, I'll gratefully eat anything they put in front of me. I might, out of politeness, but I don't usually like it. I like plain, simple food. I like it to be tasty, but tasty does not mean adventurous. I am not an adventurous eater. So for future reference, don't assume that the people that you know who have food allergies aren't picky eaters. We're still human with individual likes and dislikes. Just saying.
3. It's less scary for me than it is for you.
I know, I know, this one sounds kind of backwards, but it's true. It's a lot less scary to be the one with the allergies than the one watching an allergic reaction. Don't ask me why. Maybe because there's more of a sense of helplessness when you're watching someone suffer, maybe because it's less unpredictable or unusual from our end. I'm always reassuring people: this is normal for me. It is. I pass out. I get up. I move on. I don't like throwing up. I don't like having splitting headaches and dizziness. But I know it will pass, that I'll (most likely) live through it, etc.
4. STOP FREAKING OUT.
So I know it's hard, but please STOP freaking out. When you freak out, I feel like I have to take care of you. From the floor. It's difficult. Help if you know how, but if you don't know how, don't ask me how you can help. I'm not in the mood. If you really want to know, ask for some instructions when I'm not having a reaction. Then I'm happy to inform you.
5. Don't harp on the subject.
We know we have allergies. I understand that with little kids, they don't understand the connection between certain foods and getting sick. They may not think through the consequences. That Reese's Peanut Butter Cup looks reeeeaallyyyy good. So I understand some hyper-vigilance in that situation. But by the time we're a older, we are more acutely aware of our allergies than you could ever, ever, ever be. I'm serious. I check and double check labels. I'll won't eat something if it doesn't have a label that I can check or I didn't watch the person make it (because most people don't think of using Pam as a problem or something to list among the ingredients when I ask). I bring PB&J when I go to a party. I know how to take care of myself (and I'm getting better about actually doing so). But we don't want to be reminded all of the time that we're different. WE know we're different. And it's hard being the kid who can't do everything. Who can't eat at the party. Who can't just eat like a normal person. Sure, we get used to it. But some days it isn't easy. And when, on those days, we're repeatedly reminded of our problem and how we can't eat something, we do the typically human thing. Think Adam and Eve. "Don't touch" is like a challenge to touch it.
I realize that these have varying degrees of seriousness, but life has varying degrees of seriousness. And while allergies and intolerances are serious things, it's good to learn how to have a sense of humor about it. Because we're human too.
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