Blog Your Heart | April

In an effort to make good on my "doing things without others' approval" resolution, I've decided to do one of these without any prompting from anyone else. Although I did steal the below graphic from Stephanie.

For newbies, here are the rules, as phrased by Steph:
1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.
2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.
3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

1. Boston and West

Last week was a week of heavy hearts and fervent prayers. Those prayers will continue for those who have a long road of healing ahead. Blessed are we to have a compassionate, merciful, and tender God who will stay with us through every step of every trial.

2. The Importance of Loving WILDLY

Last week was a week that forced self-reflection and a serious reevaluation of priorities. A week that inspired acts of kindness. After these tragedies, closely following on the tragedy in CT,  it struck me that we unite in the face of tragedy. Why not resolve to unite in kindness every day of the year? This image:

It's a sentiment that directly (and obviously) applies to military families, but why should it be limited to that? Why not live every day loving the people around us like they might be gone tomorrow? This is a life of uncertainties, but maybe those uncertainties can lead us to embrace joy.

I know, I know. People can be hard to love. But think on this: God loves us wildly, just as we are. He isn't waiting for us to become better people. He just loves us. Shouldn't we imitate Him in that? Love people here and now?

3. Wedding Photography

I am honored to be the photographer for a couple of dear, dear friends' wedding. At the same time, I'm nervous! It's such a big thing to have in my little hands! I'm busy thinking about shot lists, scheduling, how to lead without bossing, and how to capture every moment to the best of my ability.

4. The Havoc Boys Can Play on Girls' Hearts

Dave Barry observed something: "If the magazines in the supermarket checkout are any indication, women seem concerned with two things: why men are slobbish pigs, and how to attract men." Funny, isn't it? True? Seems like it. Men drive women crazy, but only because we so desperately want them to love us. Life seems like a balancing act of letting guys be guys, protecting our hearts, and being open to letting them love us. I suppose I can't definitively speak for men, but from my own personal experience and the experiences of some of my dearest girlfriends, it seems like men don't have any idea the power they have over women's hearts. As a Jane Austen character points out, "Women love longest when all hope is lost." I have some of the sweetest gentlemen for friends; nevertheless, I've watched them happily "move on," while the girl is still hurting. I wish I could change this. Or, at least, take away some of the pain of some of my girlfriends. 

5. My Confirmation Class

I am so proud of my kids. They're getting Confirmed tonight. I pray that God will bless them abundantly with the gifts of His Holy Spirit. I hope that I was able to be a witness of Christ's love to them. A witness that will stay with them through their lives. I hope they never stray from the straight and narrow. I hope they'll be happy and confident in their faith for the rest of their lives. 

6. How To Dodge a Slap 

Possibly unreasonable, but I'm a little worried that someone's mother is not going to be terribly happy to see me at graduation. I am seriously contemplating the best way to dodge a slap (verbal or otherwise). Don't they say that a mother's love for her son knows no bounds? Yikes.

Blog Your Heart | February

[I copied and pasted the rules from Stephanie's blog
Here are the rules, in case you are new:
1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.
2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.
3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)
Now you know. :)]

1. I was just thinking yesterday that it's been months since the last one of these. I thought I might adventure into it on my own... but I found I was too scared. I gather a lot of strength from the people around me and sometimes have a hard time doing things without their (direct or indirect) approval. Something I need to work on for Lent (convenient that it starts in five days). When Stephanie posted hers this morning, I felt like it was my permission to share what is on my heart and mind. Silly? Probably. True? Definitely.

2. The last one kinda leads into this one - I have a lot to work on for Lent. We were talking about it last night at Bible study and one of my friends playfully quipped, "Oh, Bridget, I'll make you a list of what you need to work on letting go. And you won't have time for Bible study." hehe. So true. I need to 1) set aside chunks of time in my day to pray, 2) learn to trust (I've gotten better with the trusting God part, but still have miles to go with the trusting people part), 3) learning to live&act without other people's approval. I could go on, but I don't want to bore you :)

3. I want another dog. There's a big, black, super sweet greyhound that I want to adopt. I want to name him Maximus to go with our Augusta. How cute would that be?

4. Scrapbooking is expensive. Gee willikers. I only shop sale/clearance items, but still. I need to scrap more slowly so I go through my stuff less quickly.

5. I love teaching. I have recently discovered this by teaching confirmation classes at our parish. I love preparing for the classes, presenting&discussing the material with the kids... I just love it. I don't have terribly good classroom control, though. Thank goodness my sister co-teaches with me because she doesn't put up with any nonsense.

6. I was going to do a 10K walk with my sis and my good friend, but I can barely walk a mile without collapsing, so no such luck for me. I'm bummed. I'll go cheer them on and meet them from brunch after, though. :)

7. I have a way overdeveloped sense of paranoia. I was in the midst of explaining this to a couple of friends last night (my fear of getting kidnapped/raped/killed is kinda excessive) and they were trying to calm me down when I got a phone call from my mother letting me know that they had found a car that was associated with the rogue former-LAPD-officer at the sheriff's station in town so they were all out looking for him. Helicopters, squad cars, etc. Freaked me out to a point of near hysteria. I am kinda ridiculous.

8. I am a much happier person since the last time I did one of these. All of the medication they put me on has made me a totally different person. Well, not different from how I was before junior year at TAC, but different from the totally panicked, overwrought, nervous person I was just a few months ago.

I hope you all have a blessed weekend!

Blog Your Heart, September

I've never done one of these before, but I felt inspired by my new hero. And these days I have a lot on my heart. Maybe none of it is that important, but the pile of little things makes it necessary to remind myself to keep breathing and put one foot in front of the other. I can do this.

If you don't know the "rules," you can follow the link above to Stephanie's blog where she's listed the rules along with her BYH post. :)

1. I don't have any local friends... and this makes me sad. I have a lot of friends... but they're all up at school or moved away to other parts of the country... or, in some cases, Europe. I have the young adults from the parish, but I'm not close to any of them. I have what Aristotle would call "friendships of pleasure" - I enjoy their company, but it doesn't go beyond that. It feels shallow and dry... at least for now. Maybe after I've been here longer, things will get better. Trying to live with hope over here.

2. I hate my job. Ok, maybe that's too strong. I dislike my job. I don't find fulfillment in it or look forward to it. It's mind numbing repetitive tasks that don't require any brain power. I tested this by listening to music while I did it the other day... and I could do it just as quickly. I always did homework with music, but it definitely slowed me down a bit. I wish I could derive some pleasure from it... but no. *sigh*

3. I don't like having a pharmacy living in my stomach. I am on so many pills... all for hormonal imbalances. And I never wanted to be "that person." I know that sometimes prescriptions have to get filled, that it's not my fault, etc. I know all of the "right answers." I just don't like it. I don't like needing help. I like... helping.

4. I miss my best friend. This one's a long story, but it's probably the #1 thing on my heart and mind right now. I just miss him. I feel like I'm walking around with a large part of me missing. And it hurts. I don't see this changing... the definition of stupidity is to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. So I'm trying to stop missing him... but as soon as I think about it at all, I start crying. Honestly... it would be easier if I could be mad at him.

5. Grad school scares me. Driving scares me. Life scares me. Apparently, that has something to do with my hormonal imbalances, but it's an unpleasant feeling. Everything scares me.

6. On a positive note, I love scrapbooking. It's my new outlet to relax and have some quiet time. It doesn't really require thinking, so it allows for some quiet, non-stressed time. I just focus on the task at hand... and then I'm happy. :)

That's all I can think of at the moment. Happy Sunday!