I Can Cant, Can You?

***WARNING!!! Rant post!!!!! Read at your own discretion. You need to exercise discretion because I am very emotional about this subject, not because it contains any foul language. This post is squeeeeeaky clean.***
 
Lemme just say, God might mount His throne to shouts of joy in general, but it was more like a dirge where I live.

Seriously.

I get it, there should be a certain solemnity to the music at Mass. I even understand that when chanting in a language that the majority of the world considers to be dead (Latin, donchaknow), a certain deadness is forgivable... even expected.

But for goodness' sake, the words are in ENGLISH here. You're singing, "God mounts His throne to shouts of JOY" repeatedly. It should evoke some, oh, I don't know, JOY, perhaps???

I couldn't bring myself to look at the cantor. I couldn't trust myself to look at anything except my missal, actually, which may have been millimeters from my face. Yes, I confess. I was hiding in my book. I was laughing hard and I feel terrible about it. One shouldn't laugh so hard at another person's solemnly solemn solemnness.

According to my sister, who has more self-control than me and could, therefore, look at the cantor, reports that the cantor looked quite joyful, even if she sounded horribly, tragically sad. While I'm glad she appeared more joyful than she sounded, it made me feel compelled to write this post to remind everyone that as a cantor, you're supposed to be assisting the prayers of the faithful through their auditory system, not their visual system.

I appreciate a well-dressed, dignified appearance, especially since the choir loft in our church isn't actually used as a choir loft, but a place from which someone can video choir concerts. If someone is going to be standing in front of the congregation, they should look dignified and understated. (Yes, this is a personal struggle of mine. I hope that if I wear nice enough clothes, I might be able to get away with the fact that I never look dignified. Sigh. Personal problem.) That said, there are some other things that a cantor should keep in mind with regard to the sounds coming out of his or her mouth, assaulting the ears of a captive audience.

1. Sound alive.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Before you get to any particular emotional conveyance, you need to sound alive. Please. Please,please,pleeeeease.

2. Match your emotions to the text.
So you sound alive? Good. Now convey the emotion that actually corresponds to the lyrics. Are we shouting for joy? Are we beseeching mercy? Well, then, do that thing. With your voice.

3. This is not a performance.
You are not a solo performer, this is not karaoke night. You are there to assist the faithful, not distract or amuse them. And, for the love of all that is holy, stay away from a Disney theme. There is a time and place for Disney. Mass? No. Just no. STOP.

End of rant.

(N.B. - this post is not intended to imply that I am a perfect or even a good cantor. When you guys give a bad review to a restaurant, it's because you feel like you have the right to call the kettle black, even though you yourself might be a pot. We must never stop striving for the right and perfect thing. For serious, guys.)