A phrase we hear repeatedly. I myself have heard it countless times since I first began to understand speech. It is a phrase usually accompanied by a drawling whine, a stomp of the foot, a crinkled forehead. It may be followed by stormy tears or a prolonged pout.
Unfortunately, more often than not, the mouth I heard it issuing from was my own.
I had this vision of getting what I wanted, thinking that I only wanted what was just. It's rather painful to admit, but it's true. I didn't recognize how very, very wrong I was at the time. I don't even know if I completely recognize it yet.
But I am starting to understand how very, very, very little I could ever deserve. In fact, I don't actually deserve anything. At all.
The only way in which I could possibly say that a good belongs to me by right is through that wonderful, mysterious, and almost unutterable reality of grace. By nature, through the fall, my being is so utterly wretched and undeserving. I can do no good thing by nature. All good comes from God. All beauty, all goodness, all perfection, all sanctity comes from God.
This isn't to say that each creature isn't good in itself. It is only to say that each creature is not good through itself, but rather through another. In that way, we can say that there is both one good and many goods. God is good, but He causes goodness in other things. He is the source of their individual goodness. Mind blowing.
So no, it isn't fair. But I have learned to thank God for that. I thank Him for not giving me what I deserve, but so much more than I could possibly imagine or even want on my own.
The blessings I have received in friendships are no exception. As C.S. Lewis stated: "Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others."
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