An Open Letter to Single & Catholic Men

Dear Men,

Valentine's Day is a week from tomorrow. If you're a Catholic, you could start a novena today and have it end on that day. Maybe your dream girl, who is beautiful, super devout, and a fabulous cook will magically appear, in answer to your prayers, on the 14th.

My advice? Get up off your knees, get your nose out of the "How to Find the Perfect Wife" book, and ASK A GIRL OUT FOR COFFEE.

Because in the real world, people don't materialize out of thin air. Even less likely is that a PERFECT WOMAN will materialize out of thin air. Or show up anywhere.

Because (NEWS FLASH HERE!): people ARE NOT PERFECT.

I know, I know. I could write a letter to women which says more or less the same thing. There is an infuriating tendency in the Catholic world for women to "wait for their Joseph." Guess what, ladies? St. Joseph was a one-of-a-kind guy who was chosen to be the foster father of God. Stop looking for yours. But this letter isn't for the women. This one is for you, men.

This is a bit of a hot-button issue for me. Maybe you'll chalk it up to the fact that I'm single and bitter against the world of men who aren't interested in me. That's your prerogative. The real motivation for this letter is that I am concerned for 1) the happiness of you, men, 2) the happiness of my girlfriends, and 3) the propagation of the species.

This is how I see it: there are so many 25-30 year old Catholic men around here who say they are interested in getting married and raising a family. They are surrounded by beautiful, kind, sweet, talented, Catholic young women who are eager to find and marry a man and raise a family with him.

But if you look around, NO ONE IS DATING ANYONE.

WHAT??? Me no understand these things. 

So guys, if you REALLY want to get married and have kids, ask some girls out. Throw caution to the wind and risk getting hurt or rejected. Girls can be mean, yes. But how will you ever find the nice one without sifting through some mean ones? Have a little courage and pluck. You're supposed to be men.

BUT, if you don't want to get married and have kids (at least not right now) STOP SAYING THAT YOU DO. Stop lying to the women in your life.

You.Have.To.Make.Up.Your.Mind. No flip-flopping, wish-washy, maybe yes, maybe no sort of thing.

Also important: stop looking for your version of the Blessed Mother. As unreasonable as it is for women to be looking for their St. Joseph, it is absolutely stupid (sorry, calling it as I see it) to wait around for a woman without sin. I mean, really. C'mon, dudes.

I know the whole perfect-love, theology-of-the-body, completely-selfless love is kinda intimidating. But NO ONE EXPECTS THAT ON A FIRST DATE. What a girl expects on a first date is to enjoy a cup of coffee or lunch, with you picking up the tab.

Let yourself be human. And if you try to be an upstanding, kind, manly, not-creepy person, God will take care of the whole grace-which-elevates-you-above-human-nature part. That's His job, remember? Not yours.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love you all,
Bridget