30 November 2014

Come.

It's Advent now. The first day of the Catholic Church's new year. The first Sunday of Advent. A time to happily anticipate the coming of our Lord. So... come. Let's come and wait for the greatest coming in history.


All you have to do is take a baby step... and a Baby will take you the rest of the way home.

24 November 2014

One More Week!

Yesterday, the Feast of Christ the King, was the last Sunday of the Catholic liturgical year.

Next Sunday marks the beginning of our new year. A new advent. A new coming. A new looking forward instead of trying to run back and away.

This is a gentle nudge and reminder that I'll be starting a new adventure here on the blog in December - the adventure in search of the Greatest Gift, the grace of the Incarnation. It's an adventure that gives you a unique certainty of your success. God wants to be sought and He wants to be found.

That deep and seemingly endless desire that you have for relationship? Yeah, that comes from the fact that you were made in the image of God. God, our King, come to us as infant, wants a relationship with you.   

You may very well ask... "why are you bringing this up over and over and over again?" Because it's important. Because you deserve it. Because Christmas can be great in such a big way... and it only costs a few dollars and some time and some love.

If it helps you to understand why I'm doing this, I'll tell you.

First, let me say that this is a huge departure for me in terms of how I think, learn, function, etc. I endeavor to be bit of an academic, especially when it comes to my faith. I utterly reject anything that I perceive to be spiritual fluff. Utter rejection sometimes takes the form of hurling books into the trash. I like my faith to fill me with a wonder in a very intellectual way. I like to read and study things that "blow my mind."

Ann Voskamp is not an academic. That said, her words aren't fluff. She is someone who manages to get into my heart - to understand my heart - with her words. Her words always dig deep into a very human part of me. I love St. Thomas. He inspires me to wonder and to always search for more wonder and more mystery. But Ann tells a very human story, a very vulnerable & personal story. It's the type of thing that I tend to easily dismiss... but she always pulls me back to God and His love.

I don't want to miss Heaven by a short eighteen inches... those eighteen inches that separate my head and my heart.

So let's go adventuring together... shall we?

(p.s. - while it's not the Greatest Gift, there are some wonderful little gifts for the mamas and babies in your life over in my Etsy shop, thebagelbox. Take a peek. Yes, a shameless plug.)

21 November 2014

YSF | Marvin Big Show, Autumn 2014

(N.B. - it has come to my attention that I should say that all of these opinions are my own & I am not an official representative of YSF. I'm just a lucky observer who loves the organization. So yes. Read on for unofficial joy-sharing, follow this link for official joy-sharing. :) )

There's the Glee Biggest Show and the other Biggest Show, but where the realest, bestest, mostest wonderfulest magic happens is at the school Big Shows. And with sentences like that, I could totally be a writing mentor for these kids. ;)

Every kid in the program gets to walk the red carpet in front of their classmates, having a paparazzi of mentors and actors snapping their picture. The excitement of the children - both the writers and the audience - is palpable.

\

There is nothing on this earth better than a child's joy. Not a thing. Being in the audience, in a sea of eager 10 year olds, you can't help but smile and feel oh-so-happy. YSF doesn't just help kids learn to write, it makes writing a fun treat. Gone are the laborious sentence-constructing exercises of the classroom! Writing becomes an expression of their creativity, they get to tell their very own story. Plus, they get to see other people celebrating their very own story, performing it and applauding it. If you could bottle up the joy of the students in that room and save it for the rainy days of self-doubt and discouragement that every human being experiences... well, life would suddenly be so much better.

I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to be involved with YSF. My mother's involvement has gifted me the opportunity to see this wonderful program do amazing things. So thank you, Mum. You're the best!

For those of you who don't have that opportunity or availability to be involved in YSF, I've captured some photos and some moments... just giving you a small window into the magical event that is a Big Show.

First lesson of the day: when in a place such as Candyland, if someone asks "Who's there?" after you break in and enter their home, a valid response is throwing a fireball at them.


Also, if you're going to have a "Battle Contest" with the evil witches, it will be held in the castle's "Battle Area." Obviously. Also obvious is that it is constructed with indestructible bricks. Oh, but the heroine can destroy them with her firepower.

The guy in the shorts is a tree, FYI.

If you find yourself to be the POTUS and someone is trying to kill you, just yell, "Don't kill me! I haven't paid my bills!" Probably more effective than our current foreign policy, but that's not what we're here to talk about, is it, Bridget? What are we talking about? Oh, yes. Another strategy for conflict resolution is a dance party. There is always dancing and it always makes things better.

By the way, this president is a woman, who wears a grey dress, is 31 years old, and actually is really funny.




Since we live in a world where dogs in movies sometimes talk vocally, if you want your dog to talk, but only psychically with its owner, you must specify that in the script. Otherwise, the director and actors could totally miss your vision. Important stuff, guys.

This villain turns everyone into robots.

The guy with the chair on his head is Robot A.
Here, Robot A is yelling, "WE WILL RULE!"

Every story needs a villain. Every story needs a hero. And every story also needs an epic dance-off to decide who shall win all of the power over the country. Or dimension. Because sometimes we're fighting for power over a dimension. But there must always be dancing.
 

Big Jock Bully vs. Small Quiet Nerd
Spoilers: the nerd wins.


Sometimes villains have three heads. Three very expressive heads.




 Last, but not least, some heroes can rock the lady shades.




I didn't do a very good job catching photos that went with the bits of dialogue I wrote down, so here are some non-photographed, but laugh-out-loud snatches of wit and banter:

Sometimes guys say things like this: "I'm so excited to start doing knight in shining armor things with you!"

Sometimes the action happens at a place called "History of the Past Museum." Yeah, that one makes you think, doesn't it?

Sometimes conversations go like this:
Magic Man: "Wait! Wasn't I going to help you?"
Knight in Shining Armor: "LATER!"
Magic Man: "Aw, man. Why does this always happen to me?"

Sometimes the lesson you learn is that it's much easier to "destroy your enemies" together than it is to do it alone.

Some villains could really be very good for helping you live a balanced life: "I'm not going to let you leave until you party with us! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Also. PSA for all those in the industry. These kids are brilliant. Scene changes should always be done in the way imagined by one of these writers:

1) Have actors line up, shoulder-to-shoulder.
2) Make them do a wiggling sort of dance, side-to-side.
3) Have them begin waving their arms up and down.
4) Also have them wiggle their fingers erratically.
5) Make them sing, "doodlebeedoo doodlebeedoo doodlebeedoo" while wiggling, dancing, and waving.

This process perfectly indicates a scene change. Get on it.

At the end of the show, everyone needs to take a bow or two before signing autographs. It's just how we roll around here. :)

When one of the students was asked why she wrote her story, she said the most heart melting thing:

"I wrote this story because I need entertainment in my life."

Everybody together now. One, two, three, awwwwwww.

 ~~~

We can't go to Marvin without having lunch at the Grove... and honestly, it was the perfect day to look at the pretty Christmas window displays, giant tree, sparkly bows atop street lamps, cut glass stars, etc...




We took a selfie, of course. Totally obligatory. There was a humungous Christmas tree, we were wearing sweaters because it was cloudy and chilly... basically, this is how we do winter here in Southern California. It's pretty fabulous.



This place - Morel's French Restaurant & Bistro - is hands.smack.down the best place to eat at the Grove. Everything is delicious and perfectly portioned. Seriously. They don't give you piles of mediocre food; they give you a satisfying, but not overly-indulgent amount of delicious, fabulous, perfectly prepared food. And to make it even better? They are ready, willing, and incredibly able to accomodate my weird, but severe, dietary needs.


And they have a domed ceiling with a painted mural of old-timey French people.


I crash-landed on the concierge couch with a migraine after dinner (yes, I'm the classy girl who gets horrible, vomit-inducing migraines any time, any place). They showered me with gifts... well, bottles of water... and let my medicine catch up to my central nervous system. When I was able to stand up again, all the beautiful Christmas lights had been turned on. It was breathtakingly gorgeous. So there was a silver lining to the migraine.




Not only did the man-made lights glitter away beautifully, the God-made light decided to be a bit of a showoff over the skyline of downtown LA.


Such a good day. :)

19 November 2014

Christ the King, Me the King | SMYA Bible Study in Absentia

This Sunday, the Solemnity of Christ the King, we will gather at Mass to adore, worship, and praise our God as King of Creation. As King, we owe Christ unwavering allegiance. As baptized Christians, we are gifted a share in Christ’s three-fold ministry as priest, prophet, and king. That’s right – we get to share in Christ’s kingship.


So… what is kingship?



Every one of us has a notion of what it means to be a king. We live in a world structured by governments, each one ruling a nation. Some of these governments are more corrupt than others, some of them are in the midst of a sort of civil war *cough*US*cough*, but all of them have this ideology behind them: each one is intended to be a united governing body that directs, maintains, and develops the community in its purview. One type of government finds its whole structure in one individual; this monarch of a nation is the man we call 'King.'



“Oh, yay!,” you say to yourself. “If I have a share in Christ’s kingship… life is going to be great!” When we picture a king, we picture a court. There are banners in rich colors, elaborate tapestries, pomp and circumstance, huge tables covered in exotic foods, and attitudes of great awe and reverence are shown toward the monarch. A king, as he presents himself to our Disney-influenced imaginations, is one who receives many gifts from his subjects. He is granted food for his table, grateful service, and gold. Lots and lots of gold. Every day is packed to the gills with presents and fawning adorations from the people of the nation. In return for their worship of him, he grants tax breaks and arranges marriages between his distantly related royal relatives.



So that’s our king.



But that’s not God’s king. 

God's king is something quite different. Let's take a look at the first reading and Gospel for this Sunday. 

The first reading is from the prophet Ezekiel. (I've included a bit more of chapter 34 than what will be read on Sunday because it's illustrative to the point here). Chapter 34 starts off upending that Disney notion of comfort-centric kingship:
Thus says the Lord GOD: Ho, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep?
Your kingship is not an ornament. The job is not to affirm yourself. The job is to care for others...
The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the crippled you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. [...] my sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.
The throne-room is not the place for a king. The king is a caretaker. He serves the people. His place is everywhere besides the throne-room, even when that king is God Himself...
For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when some of his sheep have been scattered abroad, so will I seek out my sheep; and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness.
Humanity has misused its power, its rule over creation. The people of God have been scattered... the shepherd lost his sheep, the king has lost subjects... but they don't care to find them again. But God, who is the Great Shepherd and King has come to our rescue. He Himself will seek us out and gather us home safely. 
I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will make them lie down, says the Lord GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the crippled, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will watch over; I will feed them in justice.
God, out of love and only love, created us in His image. He gifted us with our existence, our essence, our everything. He gave us free will so that we might choose Him for ourselves. We use that same free will to walk away from Him... but that doesn't stop Him from coming down Himself to find us and bring us back.

Those who were lost, He takes them by the hand and brings them back.

Those who are injured and in pain, he heals them.

Those who are weak, hopeless, and alone, he gifts them the strength of His grace.  

He is our everything.

So this King, who is Most High, Most Wonderful, and Most Beneficent, He has saved us. We wish to serve him now. We see that He is good and holy. So we follow Him. We see Him as worthy of our adoration and obedience. We are baptized into His Death and thereby, into His Resurrection. We worship Him as our King by participating in His Kingship. Yes, we are granted a share of His Kingship, but we must be careful to remember what that means. We find this startling reality of kingship once again in Scripture, proclaimed to us in the Gospel account of St. Matthew (emphasis mine):
"When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left.
Then the King will say to those at his right hand, `Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?' And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'
Then he will say to those at his left hand, `Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' Then they also will answer, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?' Then he will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.' 
And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."
Our King shall come to judge us, He shall separate the sheep from the goats, the good from the bad. They are redeemed or condemned in accordance with their service to their King. This seems right and just in concept; a servant who best serves his master is considered to be the best servant. 

Where this startling kingship of God appears, once again, is not that the king should be served, but where the king is to be found. True service to the King is not found in a throne room, comfortably seated, well-fed and educated, warmly clothed, and protected from all harm.

True service to the King? That is found in the street, given to the poorest of the poor, the crippled, the societal outcasts and rejects, the ones that no one reveres or respects. They hold no position, no title, not even a place to call home. They have no wealth, no food, not even health to call their own. Those we are called to serve are so far from that throne room that those who have chosen residence therein will miss them entirely. 

Our God, our King, our Lord came to serve us and save us. 

That saving demands our unfailing, obedient service.

That is where we find our share in His Kingship. Not in pomp, not in riches, not in comfort, but in service. 

And we don't serve God in the high places, the palaces full of riches. 

No. That isn't where we'll serve Him. Nothing residing in a throne room actually needs any serving... there isn't anything there that requires rescuing, nothing there requires saving.

Christ's Kingship is the reaching down of His Divinity to take on and sanctify our humanity so that it might be capable of aspiring to Heaven.

Our share in His kingship must also be our share in that reaching down. Because the farther down we reach into the sorrow, pain, and sickness of this world, the closer we are brought to the face of God.

The farther away we are from earthly glory, the closer we are to Heavenly glory.

The chapter of Ezekiel continues, God addressing the flock He shepherds...
As for you, my flock, thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I judge between sheep and sheep, rams and he-goats. Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture, that you must tread down with your feet the rest of your pasture; and to drink of clear water, that you must foul the rest with your feet? And must my sheep eat what you have trodden with your feet, and drink what you have fouled with your feet? Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD to them: Behold, I, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. Because you push with side and shoulder, and thrust at all the weak with your horns, till you have scattered them abroad, I will save my flock, they shall no longer be a prey; and I will judge between sheep and sheep.
He will judge between the sheep and the sheep. The fat and the lean. Those who serve themselves in their comfort and those who serve others in their pain. 

Rejoice in your share of His Kingship! Just think: if God, the Ruler of the Universe, the King over all Creation, deigned to serve us, who are we to walk away from such service?


14 November 2014

What Advent Will Look Like Here

In my last post, I invited you all to join me in reading and praying through Ann Voskamp's book -- "The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas"-- with me this Advent. I've read through it once and am looking forward to reading it again so soon, more slowly this time, so as to really let it sink into my head and heart.

While preparing for the coming of our Lord, this blog is going to feature posts of a slightly other than usual nature. Rather than writing a lot of funny things, a lot of serious things, or really much of anything, I'm going to pick one quote from each day's short reading from the book and feature it here. This will serve as a bit of quiet contemplation time for me and, I hope, a gentle reminder to you of what Advent is intended to do: a time to slow down and prepare to be with our newborn Savior.

So that's what's happening here starting November 30th... see you there. :)

10 November 2014

Let's Talk About Advent

Christmas is always a bit of blur. There are so many parties, so much festivity, so much doing.

Sometimes in our desire to show love to others, we buy so much stuff, wrap it in fancy paper, sing carols, drink hot cocoa, untangle long strings of lights, and on and on and on until we forget that Christmas is God gifting God to us.

This Christmas - this day that will dawn in a short forty-five days - I don't want to forget that. I want to let Jesus gift Himself to me the way He always wants to gift Himself to every single one of us.

"Great goal. But how are you going to manage to do that?"


I'll let you all in on a little secret: I'm not doing it alone.

This Advent, I'm going to take full and complete advantage of a devotional from the beautiful Ann Voskamp, entitled "The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas."

It's a twenty-five day commitment - one short Scripture passage, one small meditation, one act of kindness, one moment of reflective questioning a day - to remember to breathe during the ever-accelerating blur of Christmas preparations.

I need to remember to breathe.

To take a break from the doing for God and start being with God.  

I'd like to invite you to join me in this journey, a journey from darkness to light, from loss to abundance. Set aside your loneliness and put on your belovedness.

Isn't a book purchase from Amazon worth it when it can open your heart & allow God to come in and love you?

We all should have the best Christmas, the Christmas where God gifts Himself to you.

05 November 2014

the bagel box

I have opened an Etsy store!!!!

Here is the link to the bagel box on Etsy.

I only have a few items up to start with, but I plan to expand the inventory to include not only baby blankets, but nursing covers, baby clothes, etc.

I am incredibly nervous and excited about this development. Seriously, I have major butterflies in my stomach right now. Can't wait to see what the future holds! :)

04 November 2014

Why I Do Youth Ministry

I don't clearly remember many moments of my life.

Oh, I remember general things: feelings of happiness, confusion, excitement, enjoyment...

I remember events: vacations, classes, park days, concerts, hospital visits...

But moments? Not so much.

There is one, though.

A thirteen year old girl sitting on the floor of the conference room, attending a retreat meant for her older sister's confirmation class. The sisters had gone together, the younger having been granted special provision by the youth minister to attend.

She sat there surrounded by other, slightly-older-than-her teenagers. Together, they had been playing games, making up skits, learning hand motions for praise and worship songs.

And that thirteen year old girl? She made herself a promise.

She looked up at the chaperones, the twenty-somethings who were running the retreat, and she promised herself that one day she would be one of them. But she would be different.

Because this thirteen year old girl was bored. She was humiliated. She was frustrated that this candied version of Catholicism was what they were given. They had deemed the teenagers to be "too young" for the tough, intense, real stuff.

She was... angry.

They were being spoon-fed a watered down, mushed up version of the faith. It was packaged in a basic, intensely feeling-centric, "fun" bundle. "When I'm an adult," she promised herself on a sunny Saturday afternoon in the mountains, "I'm going to run a retreat that is actually Catholic."

Yeah, I was that thirteen year old kid with what could very well be called a bad attitude.

The problem was it wasn't the kind of bad attitude that retreats are designed to conquer. This kind of bad attitude was exacerbated by the very same things intended to eradicate the bad attitudes. 

Fast forward eleven years.

I was on retreat yet again, same place, much different setting. Well, not so different. We still played a lot of games, did arts and crafts, shared our feelings, and were kept so busy that you barely had a moment to think. But those things were countered by witness talks that were big, important, life changing stories.

Big pits of despair, loneliness, and loss were suddenly filled by an overflowing amount of light, happiness, and joy. It was like a magic trick.

What was black became suddenly white. Was was infinitely heavy became now unimaginably light.

The faith of a Catholic was presented -- maybe even dropped into our laps -- as the biggest, most important, enormous, and overwhelming state of life. 

... but what was the same? Where was the touch of sameness between the thirteen year old heart and the twenty-four year old one? The uncomfortable feeling. Something was still missing. I was still somehow wrong. My faith didn't match the paradigm. Before my faith seemed too grown up. Now my faith was so little, so not dramatic.

Listening to those talks, I recognized nothing of their tales in my own life. And if these were the people chosen to present the wonders of our Catholic faith to other young adults, well, then... I must be doing it wrong.

Because my faith isn't that way. It never has been that way.

My faith has been quiet, persistent, constant. Sometimes it has been full of warmth. At other times it has felt coolly routine. Some days it has been easy to be loving. On others, it has been impossible to feel loved. It has highs and lows, but they aren't cliffs and canyons... just gentle hills.

It has never been fluffy. It has never been dramatic.

Mostly? It's been in the little things.

I haven't had any grand conversion. No moment where I shouted "I choose YOU!" to Christ because that was never even a question.

People talk about "coming of age" in their faith. A pivotal moment. A maturity. A new face. A new life. A new love. A habit that suddenly become enormously substantial and meaningful.

But mine? only a steady, nearly imperceptible progress in its slowness and subtlety.

And you know what? That's ok.

But you know what isn't ok? That no one told me that. People told me to look for the grand, mysterious gestures of God in my life. I would see those graces and my life would be changed forever. But that isn't the whole story.

Most of the grace? It's in the little things.

And that's ok. Not just ok, actually. That is perfect. Some of the most perfect faith is found between the fluff and the weighty.

The gift of faith doesn't need to be a big package, brightly wrapped and tied up with ribbons. It doesn't need to make its presence known with grand fanfare. In fact, the gift of faith is in the tiny, in the corners, in the itty bitty things that fill our days, weeks, months, and years. Those gifts even fill our minutes if we only stop to look.

Sometimes that retreat team tries so hard to reach everyone, that they can miss most of everyone.

That thirteen year old girl is keeping her promise. That thirteen year old girl -- that younger-but-just-as-impatient, version of me -- is why I do youth ministry. For the teens who feel that youth group is a place where adults condescendingly share bits of the faith, because they are judged to be too young for the real stuff.

But I know now that I also need to do it for the teens who lack a flash-bang dramatic moment in their faith. The teens that feel their faith is inadequate simply because it lacks drama and charisma.

I have to do it for the Catholics who feel too big or too small, but never just right.

Because if they are truly united in Christ, they can never be anything but just right.

They just have to find Him.

And my deepest hope is that I would be able help them do that.

02 November 2014

Most Cordial Greetings

Hello, sweet and sour readers. Happy Sunday to you all. This was week with more downs than ups, but that's ok. Well, actually, I'm pretty sure you can't have more downs than ups, but the downs lasted longer than the ups. So that's how it was.

Wednesday, I hosted the first young adult Bible study to occur in quite some time. I spent about six hours reading Romans and St. John Chrysostom's commentary on said letter. I baked delicious and fluffy cheddar cheese and garlic rolls, and excitedly hopped off to church.


Then no one came. So that happened.

It wasn't a waste of time, though. First, because Scripture study is never a waste of time, so it was good for me personally, I am sure. Second, because my sister came (late) and we had Bible-study-with-many-tangents discussion with our parish youth minister, who is a cool guy. We like him. The food didn't really get eaten, though. It may have become the family dinner on Halloween.

Speaking of Halloween, I decided that at twenty-four years old, I was old enough to carve my own darn pumpkin. I did one, which turned out to have a split personality.


We had another pumpkin around, too, and I couldn't help but carve it. Once I started, I found it really, really, really hard to stop. And that was my basic method for carving them. I just sorta started carving shapes and followed where the spirit-o-pumpkins led me. For example, this one started out as a winged demon, but I was scaring myself, so I decided to make it like Batman, but then it turned into Darth Vader with that nose. Consistency is not my priority here, obviously.


And yep, the Bones costume was recycled from last year. It's so perfect for me that I don't think I'll ever need a new costume. (See, Bones is performing a postmortem examination on a pumpkin. Cause of death was being severed from all nutrition. She determined this by disemboweling and repeatedly stabbing the corpse.)


In a glorious change-of-pace it rained not once, but twice in the last few days. Deo gratias. We need the rain so badly... keep it coming, Most High Weather Man! :)


Don't forget to smile this week, friends.